oct is a big month for me as life changes go:
new job.
new apt.
new phone.
really, if you tally all of the major parts of my life here, those are some major life-defining items besides my friends. (with my old phone, i lost all numbers and purged any extraneous ones.) what's odd about ny is that really all i'd have to do is change the borough i live in to have an entirely different life. in psychology, there's an effect (sorry, the name is escaping me and i'm too lazy to google) where one's identity and friendships are completely defined by where they live.
in ny, it's like a long-distance relationship to interact with people who you don't work with/live in a different borough. i dated a guy in the bronx a few years ago when i lived in williamsburg. though we could take trains to get to each others' places, it was the time equivalent of commuting from madison to milwaukee every day.
i got to a point a few months ago where i felt like i was in a rut. nothing was wrong or terrible, i just felt like i needed some changes. i didn't anticipate all of these happening all within days of each other, but i really can't complain. with all these changes, i'm working on stepping it up in the blog writing dept. i've been a total slacker lately - that needs to change.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
over the hill
today i was asked what i hoped my life was like in 10 years. i remember getting that question in college and being able to babble on about my career, my house, my serious live-in boyfriend (marriage has never been high on my list of priorities). when you're 18, your mid-twenties seem like some distant enchanted land.
you'll have money to buy whatever you want! you can drink whenever - without ever getting carded! friends will have lavish wine parties where you'll talk politics and eat tiny hors devours with toothpicks!
some of these things are true, but drinking loses its glamour once you don't get carded trying to get a miller after work. sure gadgets are within reach, but disposable income is not as plentiful as one would think after bills and food. wine parties are fun, and there are toothpicks and little sandwiches, but the political talk always seems doused in $5 trader joes (or in most cases something in the $15 variety) and the next morning the only lasting effects are a hazy headache and gut rot.
don't get me wrong, i don't think i honestly could have imagined a better life if i would have tried. i'm happy, (relatively) healthy, and i have a great group of friends. i have a career i love, and i managed to move halfway across the country and find a new home. but in my mind there is no reason to answer the 10 year question. a year or two ahead, maybe more, but i have a hard time identifying with my peers who have a set plan for their lives down to what the next year will entail. i'm all about goals, but i just can't be that planful.
maybe that's why i need to live in ny. i'm surrounded by millions of people - many of which who are in a stage of arrested development. most of us are career focused and work very hard to achieve a level of success. there are plenty of examples of organized folks whose paths i can emulate when i am ready to be more organized, but this place allows me to be the norm rather than the exception for having no idea what the next year will have in store for me. sure i have goals, but i can take a few detours and never feel like i'm on the wrong path.
you'll have money to buy whatever you want! you can drink whenever - without ever getting carded! friends will have lavish wine parties where you'll talk politics and eat tiny hors devours with toothpicks!
some of these things are true, but drinking loses its glamour once you don't get carded trying to get a miller after work. sure gadgets are within reach, but disposable income is not as plentiful as one would think after bills and food. wine parties are fun, and there are toothpicks and little sandwiches, but the political talk always seems doused in $5 trader joes (or in most cases something in the $15 variety) and the next morning the only lasting effects are a hazy headache and gut rot.
don't get me wrong, i don't think i honestly could have imagined a better life if i would have tried. i'm happy, (relatively) healthy, and i have a great group of friends. i have a career i love, and i managed to move halfway across the country and find a new home. but in my mind there is no reason to answer the 10 year question. a year or two ahead, maybe more, but i have a hard time identifying with my peers who have a set plan for their lives down to what the next year will entail. i'm all about goals, but i just can't be that planful.
maybe that's why i need to live in ny. i'm surrounded by millions of people - many of which who are in a stage of arrested development. most of us are career focused and work very hard to achieve a level of success. there are plenty of examples of organized folks whose paths i can emulate when i am ready to be more organized, but this place allows me to be the norm rather than the exception for having no idea what the next year will have in store for me. sure i have goals, but i can take a few detours and never feel like i'm on the wrong path.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
ma'am, can you repeat that?
this morning i woke up to screaming. actually, i think it was yelling. whatever it was, it was damn loud and really scary. some dude was banging on my neighbors door, calling them a f&$*^# b^%&# and telling them to quit banging on his ceiling. my guess is that he's the same douche that cranks shitty 80s music at 7am every weekend, but i have no actual proof.
all of the other 5 apts in my section of the building have kids living there. this means that he was probably screaming a)in front of his kids (or loud enough for them to hear); and b)at an apt that had 2-3 small children inside.
as a 115lb white girl, i don't have a ton of pull in a situation like this, so i thought it best to leave it to the authorities. the police here are pretty shoddy in their response, so i opted to call our on-site management company. at the very least i figured they'd send over one of the hulking dudes that has let me in when i've forgotten my keys. they all look like former linemen - the least they could do is tell some enraged idiot to shove it.
so i call the "emergency" number we have for weekends:
"please state your name and apt #"
(i provide it)
"i'm not calling because of maintenance. some neighbor is calling another a 'f$&*^#$ b&$*$' and banging on their door. it's scary."
"ma'am, can you please repeat your phone number?
(i provide it, AGAIN)
"ma'am, am i correct to understand that this man is cursing?"
"yes, he's banging and yelling FUCKING BITCH"
"oh, alright ma'am. so he's cursing."
"yup. and banging. it's woken up the entire building and i assume everyone is as scared to come out of their apt as i am"
"ok ma'am. can you hold please?"
"yes, but can you just send someone over here?"
"hold please."
(i wait for 3-5 min)
"ma'am, i think it's best for you to just call the police.
thanks sir. like i didn't think of that before. hopefully i won't be knifed in my sleep in the next 30 days before i can move out.
all of the other 5 apts in my section of the building have kids living there. this means that he was probably screaming a)in front of his kids (or loud enough for them to hear); and b)at an apt that had 2-3 small children inside.
as a 115lb white girl, i don't have a ton of pull in a situation like this, so i thought it best to leave it to the authorities. the police here are pretty shoddy in their response, so i opted to call our on-site management company. at the very least i figured they'd send over one of the hulking dudes that has let me in when i've forgotten my keys. they all look like former linemen - the least they could do is tell some enraged idiot to shove it.
so i call the "emergency" number we have for weekends:
"please state your name and apt #"
(i provide it)
"i'm not calling because of maintenance. some neighbor is calling another a 'f$&*^#$ b&$*$' and banging on their door. it's scary."
"ma'am, can you please repeat your phone number?
(i provide it, AGAIN)
"ma'am, am i correct to understand that this man is cursing?"
"yes, he's banging and yelling FUCKING BITCH"
"oh, alright ma'am. so he's cursing."
"yup. and banging. it's woken up the entire building and i assume everyone is as scared to come out of their apt as i am"
"ok ma'am. can you hold please?"
"yes, but can you just send someone over here?"
"hold please."
(i wait for 3-5 min)
"ma'am, i think it's best for you to just call the police.
thanks sir. like i didn't think of that before. hopefully i won't be knifed in my sleep in the next 30 days before i can move out.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
pancakes and fish hooks
there are days in ny that are indisputable reminders that this is where i'm meant to be (at this stage in my life). trying to plan these days are like trying to plan new year's. high expectations and hype that lead to utter disappointment - and usually a terrible hangover. today was a spectacular day, completely without a plan. it was a string of random events - mostly mundane and obscure - but collectively they made me so happy that i live in a place where these days can happen on a fairly regular basis without it being strange. i'll try to explain it as best i can but on paper (screen), though i can guarantee it will seem ridiculous and boring.
the day started with banana pancakes. it should be stated that i really don't like pancakes in general, but banana ones are pretty awesome. bananas are the only fruit i'll tolerate in anything beyond pie. meg was cooking - which is important to this story only in that i completely forgot she moved this week. here i am goofing around at my apt cleaning up and doing random chores for a few hours, when i really should have been moving my ass to harlem. luckily i realized this just as i left my building, but nonetheless going to brunch in the wrong borough is usually not the makings of a great day.
despite any geographical snafus, the weather was amazing and i really didn't care about the extra trek. plus there were fresh blueberries waiting for me when i got there, making up for my lack of planning. after pancakes the decision was made to go to central park. in the 3 years i've lived here i can count the number of times i've been to the park on one hand. one was a borderline-scary first date where i feared i would be chopped up into little bits, scattered on the great lawn. this has since left me a wee bit fearful of the park in general. today though, i saw the place with fresh eyes. maybe it was because we entered at the northern-most point. maybe it was because it was daylight and i had no suspicions that i may end up as the season opener of 48-hours. whatever the reason i was damn happy to be there.
when we got to the park, we saw a sign for canoeing. not just canoeing, but FREE canoeing. we jumped in line next to a bunch of little kids, soon finding ourselves in the middle of the pond in the nexus of the park. surrounded by greenery and gorgeous architecture, we barely noticed the surplus of algae building up on the corners of our boat. i've left out the racial profiling the park rangers did on us: assuming we had canoed before because we were white. but that's a minute complaint compared to the tiny turtle that hung out next to the boat and the little kid who stopped to tell us about the GIANT snapping turtle that he caught with his lure. (he was probably 5 with a lisp and an insanely loud voice. one of those boys who is great to talk to for a few minutes, but you'd want to strangle if you had to babysit.)
thankfully we made our way back to the mainland without maiming any turtles (or children) and headed to the bathroom. post-loo, we ran into some little kids fishing. we come to find out that fishing is FREE too. turns out the park will give you lures and corn (?) as bait for an afternoon of "catch and release" fishing. early-on, we realized the allure of fishing (HAHA - get it?) was not so grand. neither of us wanted to touch any fish we caught, and the danger of a turtle attacking our lures just added to our stress. those suckers are MEAN. so here we are camped out on the steps of the pond, two 25 year-olds too afraid to even fathom having to grasp a slimy, googly-eyed fish. BLAH. the object of the game then became to avoid catching ANYTHING. for the fish that wasn't too hard. counter to the "expert" advice of the parks department, fish don't actually like corn. you could hit the fish over the head with a kernel and they wouldn't bite. (i tried a few times.) the turtles though, those suckers have corn on the brain. the second meg put her lure in the water, a giant turtle surfaced and tried to attack her bait. after a good 15 minutes of anti-fish fishing, we thought it best to leave it to the 7 year olds and their parents. we weren't fooling anyone that we were being hipster "ironic" by taking up elderly activities. we turned in our lures and headed to the santeria shop.
my interest in the practice mainly lies in the sublime song. the song was the ringtone on my first cell and will always hold a special place in my heart, somewhere between "the general" by dispatch and "crazy game of poker" by O.A.R. these songs symbolize my first taste of independence, doused in smirnoff and natty light. in terms of a spiritual following though, i'm a total gringa and don't know the slightest thing about santeria. but why not? with no church and no true spiritual beliefs, the least i can do is check out what else is out there. plus candles and nice smelling things are always a plus. so we moseyed on down to the santeria store in spa-ha (ahem - spanish harlem) from the park. on the way, we passed a lively street fair that turned out to be a giant ruse to get people HIV tested.
the folks at the fair were so nice that we couldn't say no to the test. fishing, santeria, pancakes - why not round out the day with a sexual health exam? all it involved was a cheek swab and a list of somewhat vague questions, "have you been to the doctor in the past 2 years? if so, how many times?" we both had been tested before - i think doctors dole those out with almost the same frequency as pregnancy tests for the common cold at the university health center - so it was more of a courtesy to the nice folks running the place rather than any sort of fact-finding mission.
after our mobile health test, we moved on to the santeria store. once inside, we learned about natural african sponges and bath incense meant for "money growth". these things will probably serve me well somewhere down the line, but true hunger took the place of spiritual hunger, and we made a beeline for a nearby mexican restaurant. post tacos, we parted ways, and i headed to 500 days of summer (a movie). i won't ruin it for any other fans of the indie faux-love story, but all i have to say is that there's no way better way to round out a solid afternoon with a solid movie with a killer soundtrack.
so here i am sitting in my apt, a little burnt, a little sweaty, but more than a little content. i know i'm in danger of a breach of confidentiality with this statement, but the only thing negative about my day was my HIV test.
the day started with banana pancakes. it should be stated that i really don't like pancakes in general, but banana ones are pretty awesome. bananas are the only fruit i'll tolerate in anything beyond pie. meg was cooking - which is important to this story only in that i completely forgot she moved this week. here i am goofing around at my apt cleaning up and doing random chores for a few hours, when i really should have been moving my ass to harlem. luckily i realized this just as i left my building, but nonetheless going to brunch in the wrong borough is usually not the makings of a great day.
despite any geographical snafus, the weather was amazing and i really didn't care about the extra trek. plus there were fresh blueberries waiting for me when i got there, making up for my lack of planning. after pancakes the decision was made to go to central park. in the 3 years i've lived here i can count the number of times i've been to the park on one hand. one was a borderline-scary first date where i feared i would be chopped up into little bits, scattered on the great lawn. this has since left me a wee bit fearful of the park in general. today though, i saw the place with fresh eyes. maybe it was because we entered at the northern-most point. maybe it was because it was daylight and i had no suspicions that i may end up as the season opener of 48-hours. whatever the reason i was damn happy to be there.
when we got to the park, we saw a sign for canoeing. not just canoeing, but FREE canoeing. we jumped in line next to a bunch of little kids, soon finding ourselves in the middle of the pond in the nexus of the park. surrounded by greenery and gorgeous architecture, we barely noticed the surplus of algae building up on the corners of our boat. i've left out the racial profiling the park rangers did on us: assuming we had canoed before because we were white. but that's a minute complaint compared to the tiny turtle that hung out next to the boat and the little kid who stopped to tell us about the GIANT snapping turtle that he caught with his lure. (he was probably 5 with a lisp and an insanely loud voice. one of those boys who is great to talk to for a few minutes, but you'd want to strangle if you had to babysit.)
thankfully we made our way back to the mainland without maiming any turtles (or children) and headed to the bathroom. post-loo, we ran into some little kids fishing. we come to find out that fishing is FREE too. turns out the park will give you lures and corn (?) as bait for an afternoon of "catch and release" fishing. early-on, we realized the allure of fishing (HAHA - get it?) was not so grand. neither of us wanted to touch any fish we caught, and the danger of a turtle attacking our lures just added to our stress. those suckers are MEAN. so here we are camped out on the steps of the pond, two 25 year-olds too afraid to even fathom having to grasp a slimy, googly-eyed fish. BLAH. the object of the game then became to avoid catching ANYTHING. for the fish that wasn't too hard. counter to the "expert" advice of the parks department, fish don't actually like corn. you could hit the fish over the head with a kernel and they wouldn't bite. (i tried a few times.) the turtles though, those suckers have corn on the brain. the second meg put her lure in the water, a giant turtle surfaced and tried to attack her bait. after a good 15 minutes of anti-fish fishing, we thought it best to leave it to the 7 year olds and their parents. we weren't fooling anyone that we were being hipster "ironic" by taking up elderly activities. we turned in our lures and headed to the santeria shop.
my interest in the practice mainly lies in the sublime song. the song was the ringtone on my first cell and will always hold a special place in my heart, somewhere between "the general" by dispatch and "crazy game of poker" by O.A.R. these songs symbolize my first taste of independence, doused in smirnoff and natty light. in terms of a spiritual following though, i'm a total gringa and don't know the slightest thing about santeria. but why not? with no church and no true spiritual beliefs, the least i can do is check out what else is out there. plus candles and nice smelling things are always a plus. so we moseyed on down to the santeria store in spa-ha (ahem - spanish harlem) from the park. on the way, we passed a lively street fair that turned out to be a giant ruse to get people HIV tested.
the folks at the fair were so nice that we couldn't say no to the test. fishing, santeria, pancakes - why not round out the day with a sexual health exam? all it involved was a cheek swab and a list of somewhat vague questions, "have you been to the doctor in the past 2 years? if so, how many times?" we both had been tested before - i think doctors dole those out with almost the same frequency as pregnancy tests for the common cold at the university health center - so it was more of a courtesy to the nice folks running the place rather than any sort of fact-finding mission.
after our mobile health test, we moved on to the santeria store. once inside, we learned about natural african sponges and bath incense meant for "money growth". these things will probably serve me well somewhere down the line, but true hunger took the place of spiritual hunger, and we made a beeline for a nearby mexican restaurant. post tacos, we parted ways, and i headed to 500 days of summer (a movie). i won't ruin it for any other fans of the indie faux-love story, but all i have to say is that there's no way better way to round out a solid afternoon with a solid movie with a killer soundtrack.
so here i am sitting in my apt, a little burnt, a little sweaty, but more than a little content. i know i'm in danger of a breach of confidentiality with this statement, but the only thing negative about my day was my HIV test.
Monday, July 13, 2009
13 going on...
on my walk home this evening, i made the comment to one of my friends that her 13 year-old self and her 30 year-old self sound exactly the same. it got me to thinking...what was my 13 year-old self like?
and have i really changed all that much? 13 year-old jeni was tall and gangly, not unlike my physique now though i think when you're gangly as an adult you become pathetic and awkward. but lets do a quick assessment of where i was when i was 13, compared to now:
13 year old
- watched TV like it's my job
- daily uniform: t-shirt, jeans, converse
- lots of friends who are boys, no boyfriend
- covertly listened to top-40 pop music and read angsty pre-teen novels
- fought with my sister over the remote every night
25 year old
- watching tv is part of my job
- daily uniform (outside of work): t-shirt, jeans, converse, and messenger bag
- single
- thanks to facebook, not so covertly listen to top-40 pop music. still unwilling to buy the twilight series on my own - in the process of mooching copies off of friends
- still fight with my sister over the remote every night - now the fight includes wrestling over DVRed shows
hmm...maybe i should give myself a few years on here before i start judging myself.
and have i really changed all that much? 13 year-old jeni was tall and gangly, not unlike my physique now though i think when you're gangly as an adult you become pathetic and awkward. but lets do a quick assessment of where i was when i was 13, compared to now:
13 year old
- watched TV like it's my job
- daily uniform: t-shirt, jeans, converse
- lots of friends who are boys, no boyfriend
- covertly listened to top-40 pop music and read angsty pre-teen novels
- fought with my sister over the remote every night
25 year old
- watching tv is part of my job
- daily uniform (outside of work): t-shirt, jeans, converse, and messenger bag
- single
- thanks to facebook, not so covertly listen to top-40 pop music. still unwilling to buy the twilight series on my own - in the process of mooching copies off of friends
- still fight with my sister over the remote every night - now the fight includes wrestling over DVRed shows
hmm...maybe i should give myself a few years on here before i start judging myself.
a thousand words
i just found my camera. its been missing since december. i searched high and low for that damn thing. where was it? in my brown "adult" purse that i never use. it was the strangest thing. i was sitting on my bed, on the phone, and just started staring at that thing. i KNEW my camera was in there. how i didn't figure that out a few months ago is pathetically beyond me. i am an idiot. absolutely ecstatic that i found it but seriously WTF. this is how gaping holes of college and my youth have emerged. let's hope that i improve on this, otherwise my children will think i'm negligent.
be on the lookout for choice pics from my thanksgiving trip. yup it's been THAT long. pathetic.
be on the lookout for choice pics from my thanksgiving trip. yup it's been THAT long. pathetic.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
sumo surfing
today there was a 350 lb man sitting outside my apt building. his weight wasn't of note, except for the fact that he had the tiniest laptop i have ever seen in my life. it was like the scene in zoolander where derek has the tiny phone, "god, is that you?"queens is one of those places where nothing fits quite right.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
amer-i-can
i have returned from a trip to the motherland. i can no longer call it "home"; the word is now reserved for my east coast post-college life. i spent the last week in chicago/madison/milwaukee/wausau visiting relatives, being force-fed endless amounts of food, and sleeping.
a few highlights from the trip:
- 99.1's "top 99 from the 90's". a chicago radio station with what seems to be the strongest signal known to the fm airwaves decided to celebrate the 4th with a listener-ranked top hits from the last decade. i don't know how i feel about "mmmm bop" beating out the likes of "motown philly" and any song from the gin blossoms for #1 but it was still a solid road mix. plus if you missed out on any part of the countdown, 99.1 repeated the countdown ALL weekend. sort of takes the sting away from meg forgetting her iPod before even leaving NY.
- sultans. if you've ever gotten a falafel in chicago, this is where it should be from. if you haven't, your life is just that much worse. andrew promised us we'd "eat like princes" on our journey there and we did. twice. it doesn't hurt that the dirty hippies serving the food are so attractive that they make you forget that they are serving food in clothes that probably haven't been washed in weeks.
- ping pong. our friday night was planned to be spent by a night out on the town. one ping pong-challenge later, we ended up spending our evening in a round-robin tournament for the king (or queen) of the basement. think of your favorite nights in hs, sneaking beers and goofing off in your friends' basement while her parents are at the opera. luckily this time, no one had to flee from the house with an armful of empties and a half-consumed bottle of malibu.
- american flag apparel. milwaukee had a lot of it, and we found it. the best by far was the girl in the flag tube top. her chest was too large to keep all of the stars in full view.
- karaoke: not the kind where someone stands up by themselves like a drunken fool mumbling through a song solo. this is the dance circle, full-on belting out sing-a-long. choice favorites included "mr. jones" and "king of wishful thinking" (such a forgotten goodie).
- jello salad. ingredients are pineapple, cottage cheese, cool whip, and jello flavoring. it's whipped straight from heaven - especially for the under 12 crowd, or any of my friends from college.
- scooters. ordinarily i would give a snide, 'boys and their toys,' but i want one. definitely an upgrade from my schwinn cruiser.
i love my friends.
a few highlights from the trip:
- 99.1's "top 99 from the 90's". a chicago radio station with what seems to be the strongest signal known to the fm airwaves decided to celebrate the 4th with a listener-ranked top hits from the last decade. i don't know how i feel about "mmmm bop" beating out the likes of "motown philly" and any song from the gin blossoms for #1 but it was still a solid road mix. plus if you missed out on any part of the countdown, 99.1 repeated the countdown ALL weekend. sort of takes the sting away from meg forgetting her iPod before even leaving NY.
- sultans. if you've ever gotten a falafel in chicago, this is where it should be from. if you haven't, your life is just that much worse. andrew promised us we'd "eat like princes" on our journey there and we did. twice. it doesn't hurt that the dirty hippies serving the food are so attractive that they make you forget that they are serving food in clothes that probably haven't been washed in weeks.
- ping pong. our friday night was planned to be spent by a night out on the town. one ping pong-challenge later, we ended up spending our evening in a round-robin tournament for the king (or queen) of the basement. think of your favorite nights in hs, sneaking beers and goofing off in your friends' basement while her parents are at the opera. luckily this time, no one had to flee from the house with an armful of empties and a half-consumed bottle of malibu.
- american flag apparel. milwaukee had a lot of it, and we found it. the best by far was the girl in the flag tube top. her chest was too large to keep all of the stars in full view.
- karaoke: not the kind where someone stands up by themselves like a drunken fool mumbling through a song solo. this is the dance circle, full-on belting out sing-a-long. choice favorites included "mr. jones" and "king of wishful thinking" (such a forgotten goodie).
- jello salad. ingredients are pineapple, cottage cheese, cool whip, and jello flavoring. it's whipped straight from heaven - especially for the under 12 crowd, or any of my friends from college.
- scooters. ordinarily i would give a snide, 'boys and their toys,' but i want one. definitely an upgrade from my schwinn cruiser.
i love my friends.
Monday, June 15, 2009
don't wanna miss a thing
it's 1am and i can't sleep. i've been napping all day like the 6th member of golden girls (i hope a reference is not in bad taste since bea arthur has recently passed). the cause of this insomnia (and catnaps) is due to my stomach. it's killing me. not like rip it out of me i need to go to the ER, but a more subtle i'm going to make your life miserable so you can't relax sort of way. and so i'm here at 1am on a sunday. trying desperately to go to sleep. to aid in this, i'm blogging and watching "space cowboys" on free demand. it's my new favorite movie to fall asleep to. disaster movies are the best for this task. the plotlines are easy to follow, there's no real danger that will scare me into staying awake, plus they're relatively short. a movie about a bunch of elderly dudes who save the world seems to do the trick. it's no armageddon, but that's why it's on demand for free. ben affleck and bruce willis are still of the caliber that warrants pay-per-view. clint eastwood has a billion movies that are better, so i think cinemax is willing to toss the public a bone with his attempt at becoming "relevant" once again by bridging NSYNC and their "inspired" theme song ("space cowboys" - duh) with james cromwell, tommy lee jones, donald sutherland, and james gardner.
please guys, help me catch a few good hours of sleep. i promise i'll watch "babe" and "the notebook" whenever they come on demand too.
please guys, help me catch a few good hours of sleep. i promise i'll watch "babe" and "the notebook" whenever they come on demand too.
Monday, June 1, 2009
why my mom loves tina turner
1) she's got a killer body. we all know that. i knew that when i was 12 and saw my mom's cassette tapes. there's something about a woman in fishnets and giant heels that is commanding - even when you're pre-pubescent. you have no idea what sex appeal means, or who the hell ike was, or what "love" has to do with ANYTHING, but whatever she has, you know it's different. it's sort of like the realization that you make when you're an adult (or teenager) that your "crazy" relative or family friend is actually a drunk.
2) music in adulthood is never as good as it was when you were a teenager. for my mom that means that michael bolton and tina turner are good, but never as great as those folk heroes that she grew up with. her and her sisters gather every christmas and harmonize to old favorites as my aunt strums her guitar.
for me, i don't think i had the good fortune of growing up in a time when truly great music was made (just check out the billboard top 100 from the mid-80's) but to me, music is 80% emotion, 20% greatness. growing up in a household where my dad managed rock bands, i certainly hold a great place in my heart to meatloaf (i knew all 3 parts to "paradise by the dashboard light" far before i could do long division). if i had heard that song for the first time today at a bar, i'd think it was absolute crap. i mean, that's a lyrically challenging - and equally terrible - song. but it will forever remind me of all the summers of my childhood that i spent traveling with his band. and that's completely different.
take most any boyband song from the early 90's. N'SYNC, backstreet boys, hell - even 5ive (AHEM - "baby when the lights go out") - and i love it. not because my heart swooned over lance bass or that kid howie with the creepy chinstrap beard, but because i think of all the car trips i took with my sister where we sang those songs at the top of our lungs. the lesser known "drive myself crazy" was a staple, mostly because we could sing the high part along with the bug-eyed dreaded dude, chris. "bye bye bye" and "baby hit me one more time" was an all-time classic staff water ballet routine at seminole pool. we each had a part, and we sure as hell weren't letting a few bug bites stop us from getting those steps right after hours. any britney song from "oops" should be played while wearing a pleather skirt and glittery top, as per how we drove to milwaukee and caught her show on a tuesday night with a handful of friends - without any parents. (i still cannot believe my mom okayed that.) even edwin "i'll be" mccain conjures up memories of driving through the mountains spring break senior year as my best friend reflected on her relationship.
high school also had the requisite "DMB" phase - the roadtrip to see dave one last time before impending "adulthood" in ohio, the mixes with zeppelin, and "tiny dancer" on our way to senior skip day. every white kid in the midwest has a marley phase (for me, i also had a bob marley poster freshman year of college that i almost dared my mom to rip off the wall while it was clinging to its poster putty).
now i'm only 3 years out of college and i'm already my mom. i have NO idea what the kids are listening these days. i'm forced to be the lame one in my group of teacher friends who have to explain the "superman" and "soldier boy" dances are. i sort of know the popular jonas bros' song ("burning up") and follow a fair amount of new bands thanks to my trendy friends, their musical ventures, and the latest and greatest that yahoo music has to offer, but no matter how hard i try i don't think any of it will ever erase my love for some of the old standbys. or increase my ability to once again regain any shred of "coolness" i once had. (or think i did.)
it's certainly not because the music was better, or that my taste has waned in my old(er) age, it's because it doesn't evoke nearly any of the same emotions. ben harper's "roses from my friends" can easily draw parallels to an adult breakup or falling out with a friend. sure i go through heartache and rough patches in friendships now, but i have ice cream and lifetime movies, and booze to fill that void. i can ride the subway aimlessly for hours, wander the town, do a billion different things to try to clear my head. if i'm feeling particularly proactive i can even exercise. as a teenager, all you're left with is your solitude and music to fill your sorrows and angst. my junior year of high school i think i listened to ben harper's "burn to shine" so much that i had to "re-burn" a copy from one of my friends. (making homemade cds was at the forefront of technology at the time.)
sure i love a handful of recently introduced-to-me-bands to the same degree, if not more than the classic songs of my childhood. at least musically or lyrically. but i really can't think of "mardy bum" in the same light as "wonderwall". i will love dave matthews no matter how many albums he puts out like "american baby". justin timberlake can become as big of a tool as he wants to, and i'll still have a soft spot for "it's gonna be me." really zeppelin can never do any wrong, and i think i'd be a fool to think that i'm the only one in the world who thinks that...actually - i take that back. robert plant collaborating with p. diddy (or 'puff daddy' at the time) for the godzilla song may have been literally "wrong". it was certainly against a few laws of nature and against most of the better judgement of anyone who believes VH1 should have maintained its integrity as a music channel pre-celebreality.
what i'm trying to say is simple. music can come and go, but the nostalgia will always be there. like my favorite cliche dave says, "it's not where you are but who you're with that really matters"
whether i'm 14 or 40, somehow i think part of me will always think that's true.
2) music in adulthood is never as good as it was when you were a teenager. for my mom that means that michael bolton and tina turner are good, but never as great as those folk heroes that she grew up with. her and her sisters gather every christmas and harmonize to old favorites as my aunt strums her guitar.
for me, i don't think i had the good fortune of growing up in a time when truly great music was made (just check out the billboard top 100 from the mid-80's) but to me, music is 80% emotion, 20% greatness. growing up in a household where my dad managed rock bands, i certainly hold a great place in my heart to meatloaf (i knew all 3 parts to "paradise by the dashboard light" far before i could do long division). if i had heard that song for the first time today at a bar, i'd think it was absolute crap. i mean, that's a lyrically challenging - and equally terrible - song. but it will forever remind me of all the summers of my childhood that i spent traveling with his band. and that's completely different.
take most any boyband song from the early 90's. N'SYNC, backstreet boys, hell - even 5ive (AHEM - "baby when the lights go out") - and i love it. not because my heart swooned over lance bass or that kid howie with the creepy chinstrap beard, but because i think of all the car trips i took with my sister where we sang those songs at the top of our lungs. the lesser known "drive myself crazy" was a staple, mostly because we could sing the high part along with the bug-eyed dreaded dude, chris. "bye bye bye" and "baby hit me one more time" was an all-time classic staff water ballet routine at seminole pool. we each had a part, and we sure as hell weren't letting a few bug bites stop us from getting those steps right after hours. any britney song from "oops" should be played while wearing a pleather skirt and glittery top, as per how we drove to milwaukee and caught her show on a tuesday night with a handful of friends - without any parents. (i still cannot believe my mom okayed that.) even edwin "i'll be" mccain conjures up memories of driving through the mountains spring break senior year as my best friend reflected on her relationship.
high school also had the requisite "DMB" phase - the roadtrip to see dave one last time before impending "adulthood" in ohio, the mixes with zeppelin, and "tiny dancer" on our way to senior skip day. every white kid in the midwest has a marley phase (for me, i also had a bob marley poster freshman year of college that i almost dared my mom to rip off the wall while it was clinging to its poster putty).
now i'm only 3 years out of college and i'm already my mom. i have NO idea what the kids are listening these days. i'm forced to be the lame one in my group of teacher friends who have to explain the "superman" and "soldier boy" dances are. i sort of know the popular jonas bros' song ("burning up") and follow a fair amount of new bands thanks to my trendy friends, their musical ventures, and the latest and greatest that yahoo music has to offer, but no matter how hard i try i don't think any of it will ever erase my love for some of the old standbys. or increase my ability to once again regain any shred of "coolness" i once had. (or think i did.)
it's certainly not because the music was better, or that my taste has waned in my old(er) age, it's because it doesn't evoke nearly any of the same emotions. ben harper's "roses from my friends" can easily draw parallels to an adult breakup or falling out with a friend. sure i go through heartache and rough patches in friendships now, but i have ice cream and lifetime movies, and booze to fill that void. i can ride the subway aimlessly for hours, wander the town, do a billion different things to try to clear my head. if i'm feeling particularly proactive i can even exercise. as a teenager, all you're left with is your solitude and music to fill your sorrows and angst. my junior year of high school i think i listened to ben harper's "burn to shine" so much that i had to "re-burn" a copy from one of my friends. (making homemade cds was at the forefront of technology at the time.)
sure i love a handful of recently introduced-to-me-bands to the same degree, if not more than the classic songs of my childhood. at least musically or lyrically. but i really can't think of "mardy bum" in the same light as "wonderwall". i will love dave matthews no matter how many albums he puts out like "american baby". justin timberlake can become as big of a tool as he wants to, and i'll still have a soft spot for "it's gonna be me." really zeppelin can never do any wrong, and i think i'd be a fool to think that i'm the only one in the world who thinks that...actually - i take that back. robert plant collaborating with p. diddy (or 'puff daddy' at the time) for the godzilla song may have been literally "wrong". it was certainly against a few laws of nature and against most of the better judgement of anyone who believes VH1 should have maintained its integrity as a music channel pre-celebreality.
what i'm trying to say is simple. music can come and go, but the nostalgia will always be there. like my favorite cliche dave says, "it's not where you are but who you're with that really matters"
whether i'm 14 or 40, somehow i think part of me will always think that's true.
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