jhon doe

i replied to an ad on craigslist yesterday to check out an apartment. at approximately 9:15am today,  i received a response from a mr. jhon doe asking me to call gary to see the place. i give mr. doe style points for the creative spelling of the traditional, "john". i can't decide if it was intentional, or whether it was a spelling error. i would like to see my 24th birthday, thus i will not be responding further with any personal information. 

the life story

with the advent of technology, most people have gotten extremely lazy. "U" instead of "you", lots of apostrophes. most people are probably well on their way to grammar hell with half of the emails and text messages they send on a daily basis. (i take full responsibility for the lack of capitalized letters in this post.) so why oh why, do people feel compelled to write long-winded "catch-up" postings for facebook and myspace that everyone in their network (or on the web) can read?

the ones i'm talking about are the messages that many people in my generation trade for any substantive conversation. they're akin to the awkward encounter one may face when bumping into someone that they can't quite place, or a person they have no real intention of ever wanting to talk to again. it's similar to the half-assed promise to hang out with someone who you haven't seen in 3 years and then exchange numbers when you are at the same party or out christmas shopping with your sibling when you're home visiting your parents. the classic facebook posting goes something like this:

"hi jeni!
how are you? i haven't talked to you in so long! it's been _______. i hear you're in NY. things are good. after i graduated school i ______ and now i'm ______. i live in _______ with my _________. if you're ever in _____, let me know. we should hang out.

- ______ (fill in name here)

the kicker is the signing of the name. the other stuff can be well-meaning and nice, and i truly apologize for offending anyone who over the years my have written this on my wall in an attempt to reconnect (i hope i crafted a nice response). but why the name? your post is linked to your entire profile. with one click, i can have access to a photo montage of the last 6 years of your life. i know who you are.

*in an effort to save time, i welcome anyone to fill in the blanks and copy and paste onto my facebook wall.

break of day

tonight i was pleasantly surprised to get off the train and be greeted with daylight. (i use this term lightly - it's been raining all day and they sky is grey and gloomy - but it's better than the dark sky that usually awaits me when i step off the F train after work). i'd like to say that i would have done something exciting if i wasn't home early because i'm sick. but the truth is, i would have done the same thing regardless of my reasoning for being home: put on my pj's and headed for the couch. weekdays are not days to be adventurous.

wild and crazy kids

after viewing the commercial a few times, i can confidently say that i'm 99% sure that donny jeffcoat, former host of nickelodeon's 'wild and crazy kids' is in the new nesqwick chocolate milk ad.

a spritz of scandal

unless you're 6 feet under or spent the last week in a casino, you've heard by now that eliot spitzer has been implicated in a prostitution scandal. being that i work across the street from the ny governor's offices, the past week has resulted in the possibility of ending up in b-roll footage on a national news source each and every time i step out of my building. in fact, one of my coworkers is of the belief she ended up on telemundo on monday, but we have no firm confirmation as neither of us are viewers of the network. regardless, it's been a zoo in our parts, which has escalated our attention to the scandal. and probably caused me to think more deeply about the situation than i really should.

to be honest, if he had met up with a prostitute on his own time, with his own money, i would be disturbed, but would have considered it completely no one's business but his own. what someone does on their own time is between them and their family. get federal funds muddled up in it though, and the whole thing has a different ring to it. it is what it is though, and mr. spitzer bowed out of his position before it could be ripped away from him in a call for impeachment.

the question that lingers in my mind is not why did he do it (i'm pretty sure the reasoning for people getting a prostitute is pretty obvious), but why a prostitute? i'm sure there's plenty of scandalous women in ny that would sleep with a man as powerful as the governor. i'm certainly not one of those women, but i can guarantee they're out there. why not an aide or some socialite who champions his fundraising? you know - the usual suspects in a sex scandal. i don't condone cheating in any way and think it's pretty despicable, but seriously - a prostitute? c'mon - that's just too 1980's cliche. if you're going to ruin your career, reputation, and life, at least do it because your hooking up with someone who you potentially have feelings for. not someone who you're paying to keep you company.

the internet gods are never smiling down on us...

for months i have been half-ass attempting to get a password set on our wireless account. it's one of those things i've been meaning to do, but never really had the patience to stick through until the job was done. 15 minutes on hold with the folks at time warner and it didn't bother me so much that people were stealing our internet.

today i felt like i had let the task fall on the wayside for far too long and it was time to do something about it. it was a late night at work, so by the time i got around to doing this, it was about 10:45. i started out by trying the live chat on time warner's website. I've taken out my 'analyst's' last name and deleted my personal information, but everything else is verbatim from our 'chat' [minus the brackets]. We begin from the start of our chat...

Barbie: In this case, now I will need to use a tool that will allow me to access your computer remotely. This will help us to troubleshoot the issue quickly efficiently. Please go through the following notes and confirm your acceptance: 1. I will be able to see your computer s desktop and manage your computer. I request your presence while I perform the required troubleshooting. 2. However, if you are not comfortable with this procedure at any point of time, you are free to disconnect the remote tool by clicking on Disable Remote Control button in the center of the screen.

Barbie: Sorry. [for what, i'm not sure]
Barbie: Hello, thank you for choosing Road Runner technical Chat. My name is Barbie D. How may I assist you?
Jennifer_: it's fine to remote connect
Jennifer_: i need help setting up a wep password
Jennifer_: i can't find how to do it on your website
Barbie: Jennifer, I'll try my best to assist you with the issue you are facing.
Barbie: Before we begin, I would like to bring up your account. May I have the following four pieces of information from you please?
1. The account holder's 10 digit telephone number. (xxx-xxx-xxxx)
2. The account holder's Full Name (First and Last)
3. Please tell us your name.
4. May I have your preferred e-mail address?
(Preferred e-mail address is the one that you use frequently; it may be different from the Road Runner e-mail address)

Jennifer_: [i give her this information]
Barbie: Thank you, Jennifer.
Barbie: Jennifer, if I understand you, you want the WEP password, am I right? [keep in mind that when i registered for the chat, i explained that my problem was that i needed to set a WEP password]
Jennifer_: yes please
Jennifer_: right now, we don't have one set
Barbie: Thank you for the confirmation.
Barbie: Jennifer your WEP key would be your Modem Mac address and fourteen 0 s.
Barbie: MAC address is a 12 digit alpha-numeric address on the sticker at the bottom of the modem.
Jennifer_: yes
Jennifer_: i have that number
Jennifer_: where do i type that in to set the password?
Barbie Dcosta: Jennifer, WEP key is required when you try to setup the wireless router.
Jennifer_: the router was set up when i moved in
Barbie Dcosta: Alright, is that provided by Road Runner?
Jennifer_: i can just click on the name of the router and it lets me hook up to that connection
Jennifer_: yes
Barbie: Alright Jennifer, in this case I'd request you to contact our concerned department as I do not have the required expertise for the same and they would be in a better position to assist you with the issue. I'll provide you with the phone number.
Barbie: The number is {XXX-XXX-XXXX]
Barbie: Is there anything else I can assist you with?
Jennifer_: no, that's it. thanks.
Barbie: You are most welcome. For further assistance please logon to our website help.rr.com and check for online FAQs.
Barbie: I would appreciate if you could provide us with your valuable feedback on the support experience, after the end of this chat session. It will help us to serve you better. Please submit your comments at http://surveys.rr.com/chat
Barbie: Thank you for using Road Runner Technical support today, I hope you found our session helpful.
Barbie: Analyst has closed chat and left the room

so Barbie and i parted ways. Ii called the 'concerned department' and let me tell you, they're not particularly concerned. i waited on hold for 35 minutes before even reaching the main menu. this was due to the 'large number of calls' that TW was receiving (past 11pm). once i got a rep on the phone, our conversation proceeded something like this:

Rep: hello. thank you for calling time warner. please provide your first and last name.
me: [provided this info]
Rep: thank you. can you please provide your MAC modem number?
me: [i provide the number on our router. turns out the number on the router is not a time warner number - it's the manufacturers number. i need to call them to set up the password.]
Rep: ma'am...sir?? ma'am, is there anything else i can help you with?

AHHHHH

i continue my quest by calling up the manufacturer of my wireless modem. after a "short" wait of 5 minutes, i get someone on the line. he walks me through how to set up the password, and we're all set. i have to set a lengthy one - it's some sort of system requirement and it's not particularly flexible.

45 minutes since my endeavors begin and we're all set. not too bad as any issues with the cable company goes. in my next life, i'm starting my own monopoly.

a tearjerker

http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=ithct48cqw

child's play

on sunday, i encountered an all-too familiar scene at a coffeeshop. a girl no older than 11 stood in line in front of me. she asked the barista for the house blend - w/ 2 sugars and extra half and half. she ordered it with an air that i don't think i'll ever have when ordering a cup of tea (i quit coffee in november). most of the kids i encounter here are like that. sometimes their 'cultured' street smarts are things that i'm in awe of (like when the kid next to me on the subway is talking about his vinyl collection), but most of the time it freaks me out.

at water aerobics (yes, i've recently taken up the sport) last night, i overheard two kids talking about their ipods:

"i just got rid of my shuffle."
"for a real ipod?"
"no, well, like, maybe. it was from when ipods were first invented. i couldn't listen to all of my stuff. it was my brothers."
"i have a real one. it holds all of my music."
"whoa - my parents said i could get one of those for my birthday."

the conversation went on for quite some time. they started exchanging gigabite information and something about transferring files that i just couldn't follow. but my main questions hinged on my belief that it's not possible for either one of these children to have been born when ipods were 'invented'

but they know a hell of a lot more about the tech, so i'm going to keep my mouth shut. a few years from now, one of them will probably talk to me like a child when i'm trying to buy a new computer from them at the apple store. and so continues my descent into adulthood. i'm catching up to you mom - one new tech item at a time.