why my mom loves tina turner

1) she's got a killer body. we all know that. i knew that when i was 12 and saw my mom's cassette tapes. there's something about a woman in fishnets and giant heels that is commanding - even when you're pre-pubescent. you have no idea what sex appeal means, or who the hell ike was, or what "love" has to do with ANYTHING, but whatever she has, you know it's different. it's sort of like the realization that you make when you're an adult (or teenager) that your "crazy" relative or family friend is actually a drunk.

2) music in adulthood is never as good as it was when you were a teenager. for my mom that means that michael bolton and tina turner are good, but never as great as those folk heroes that she grew up with. her and her sisters gather every christmas and harmonize to old favorites as my aunt strums her guitar.

for me, i don't think i had the good fortune of growing up in a time when truly great music was made (just check out the billboard top 100 from the mid-80's) but to me, music is 80% emotion, 20% greatness. growing up in a household where my dad managed rock bands, i certainly hold a great place in my heart to meatloaf (i knew all 3 parts to "paradise by the dashboard light" far before i could do long division). if i had heard that song for the first time today at a bar, i'd think it was absolute crap. i mean, that's a lyrically challenging - and equally terrible - song. but it will forever remind me of all the summers of my childhood that i spent traveling with his band. and that's completely different.

take most any boyband song from the early 90's. N'SYNC, backstreet boys, hell - even 5ive (AHEM - "baby when the lights go out") - and i love it. not because my heart swooned over lance bass or that kid howie with the creepy chinstrap beard, but because i think of all the car trips i took with my sister where we sang those songs at the top of our lungs. the lesser known "drive myself crazy" was a staple, mostly because we could sing the high part along with the bug-eyed dreaded dude, chris. "bye bye bye" and "baby hit me one more time" was an all-time classic staff water ballet routine at seminole pool. we each had a part, and we sure as hell weren't letting a few bug bites stop us from getting those steps right after hours. any britney song from "oops" should be played while wearing a pleather skirt and glittery top, as per how we drove to milwaukee and caught her show on a tuesday night with a handful of friends - without any parents. (i still cannot believe my mom okayed that.) even edwin "i'll be" mccain conjures up memories of driving through the mountains spring break senior year as my best friend reflected on her relationship.

high school also had the requisite "DMB" phase - the roadtrip to see dave one last time before impending "adulthood" in ohio, the mixes with zeppelin, and "tiny dancer" on our way to senior skip day. every white kid in the midwest has a marley phase (for me, i also had a bob marley poster freshman year of college that i almost dared my mom to rip off the wall while it was clinging to its poster putty).

now i'm only 3 years out of college and i'm already my mom. i have NO idea what the kids are listening these days. i'm forced to be the lame one in my group of teacher friends who have to explain the "superman" and "soldier boy" dances are. i sort of know the popular jonas bros' song ("burning up") and follow a fair amount of new bands thanks to my trendy friends, their musical ventures, and the latest and greatest that yahoo music has to offer, but no matter how hard i try i don't think any of it will ever erase my love for some of the old standbys. or increase my ability to once again regain any shred of "coolness" i once had. (or think i did.)

it's certainly not because the music was better, or that my taste has waned in my old(er) age, it's because it doesn't evoke nearly any of the same emotions. ben harper's "roses from my friends" can easily draw parallels to an adult breakup or falling out with a friend. sure i go through heartache and rough patches in friendships now, but i have ice cream and lifetime movies, and booze to fill that void. i can ride the subway aimlessly for hours, wander the town, do a billion different things to try to clear my head. if i'm feeling particularly proactive i can even exercise. as a teenager, all you're left with is your solitude and music to fill your sorrows and angst. my junior year of high school i think i listened to ben harper's "burn to shine" so much that i had to "re-burn" a copy from one of my friends. (making homemade cds was at the forefront of technology at the time.)

sure i love a handful of recently introduced-to-me-bands to the same degree, if not more than the classic songs of my childhood. at least musically or lyrically. but i really can't think of "mardy bum" in the same light as "wonderwall". i will love dave matthews no matter how many albums he puts out like "american baby". justin timberlake can become as big of a tool as he wants to, and i'll still have a soft spot for "it's gonna be me." really zeppelin can never do any wrong, and i think i'd be a fool to think that i'm the only one in the world who thinks that...actually - i take that back. robert plant collaborating with p. diddy (or 'puff daddy' at the time) for the godzilla song may have been literally "wrong". it was certainly against a few laws of nature and against most of the better judgement of anyone who believes VH1 should have maintained its integrity as a music channel pre-celebreality.

what i'm trying to say is simple. music can come and go, but the nostalgia will always be there. like my favorite cliche dave says, "it's not where you are but who you're with that really matters"

whether i'm 14 or 40, somehow i think part of me will always think that's true.