today was my first day back visiting WI before i move to atlanta. i spent the afternoon hitting up target, famous footwear, and the post office. yep - it only took one day to become a suburban housewife.
i went to the post office completely unprepared. no pen, no box to ship the item, nothing. luckily the madison post office is nothing like the brooklyn post office. along with the standard issue boxes, they keep a roll of special issue tape around and some good samaritan left a pen for people to use when addressing boxes. it took me no time to tape a box together and weigh out the correct postage. i wanted to include a quick note in the box and hadn't brought in any scrap paper. it just so happened that the guy in front of me at the automated postage machine had left his receipt. perfect. i could be a recycler AND include a note in the box. i write a quick note, place it in the box and tape it up. just as i'm putting the package into the chute for it to be shipped off, the guy in front of me comes back with an employee. he's looking for his receipt. too late. the box is in the chute, completely taped up. i just can't bring myself to confess.
i guiltily leave the premises. as i leave i overhear a plan to pull up the information on the computers and print out a new receipt. that doesn't change the fact that i'm the asshole in the situation. guy seeking his receipt i'm really sorry, but once it's down the chute it's lost forever. i hope you understand.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
graduation
yesterday marked my last day as a NYC citizen. i'm sad about leaving my friends, the 24 hour pizza joints, the brownstones of brooklyn, and many other things, but excited for the prospect of beginning my "adult" life. in commemoration of my departure, i've compiled a list of my favorite memories (in random order):
- exploring the "forgotten" borough of staten island. rhythm and booze, the SI ferry, bbq pizza, with a finale at a downtown diner. all on a sunday afternoon.
- finer things club. we'll now be able to add trips to savannah, but it will never rival the adventures had in the greater 5 boroughs.
- brooklyn alliance. the few, the proud, the f and g train riders. those manhattan kids never truly understood.
- amateur burlesque night at galapagos. i certainly never performed, but the tribute to abe lincoln will be forever etched in my brain.
- first dates at the gate. minus the belgian sour ale. check please.
- group gchats. this will continue into my life in atlanta, but still deserves to be on the list.
- searching for bahn mi in chinatown. we never found what we were looking for exactly, but the journey was half the fun.
- old glory specials at cherry tavern. always a terrible idea in the morning, but a whiskey and PBR for under $5 is never a bad idea at the time.
- lifetime movies and wine in harlem. i am not ashamed.
- day trips to coney island. god, nathan's, and the wonder wheel can be found there.
- beer pong at whiskey river. what better way to show off eye-hand coordination?
- above ground subways. the D, Q, J always gave the best view of the city.
- the brooklyn flea. long live hillbilly gold.
- oko. frozen greek yogurt and fruit. let's pretend we're being healthy.
- attempting to go to free concerts. they were always too overrun with hipsters to actually make it in, but the events that ensued post-attempt was always worth the disappointment.
- visits from cloud. cheesy poofs, photo booths, phat farm, and leprechauns.
- alligator lounge. if i hadn't moved away from that place i would be a full-fledged member of pizza addicts anonymous.
- outdoor drinking, especially during the day. no one judges when everyone gets around via cab.
- the beer garden. see above.
- the walk from 42nd to union square. highlight had to be walking 30 blocks next to david from newsies.
- the chicken place. only dining establishment in midtown i'll miss.
- sunny days in prospect park.
- eve's in astoria. those women are vastly underpaid for their skills.
- failed rec teams. namely kickball.
- the evolution of pearl and the beard. they started with a handful of family and friends at free shows, now they're about to embark on a legit tour.
- amNY crosswords on the daily commute. my day always felt off if i didn't finish by the time i made it to the bryant park stop.
- dram shop sports viewing. that poor server was always there.
- craigslist roommates. out of two there's always one nutjob and one keeper.
i hope if/when i leave the south, i'll have as worthy of a list. it will probably reference just as much food.
- exploring the "forgotten" borough of staten island. rhythm and booze, the SI ferry, bbq pizza, with a finale at a downtown diner. all on a sunday afternoon.
- finer things club. we'll now be able to add trips to savannah, but it will never rival the adventures had in the greater 5 boroughs.
- brooklyn alliance. the few, the proud, the f and g train riders. those manhattan kids never truly understood.
- amateur burlesque night at galapagos. i certainly never performed, but the tribute to abe lincoln will be forever etched in my brain.
- first dates at the gate. minus the belgian sour ale. check please.
- group gchats. this will continue into my life in atlanta, but still deserves to be on the list.
- searching for bahn mi in chinatown. we never found what we were looking for exactly, but the journey was half the fun.
- old glory specials at cherry tavern. always a terrible idea in the morning, but a whiskey and PBR for under $5 is never a bad idea at the time.
- lifetime movies and wine in harlem. i am not ashamed.
- day trips to coney island. god, nathan's, and the wonder wheel can be found there.
- beer pong at whiskey river. what better way to show off eye-hand coordination?
- above ground subways. the D, Q, J always gave the best view of the city.
- the brooklyn flea. long live hillbilly gold.
- oko. frozen greek yogurt and fruit. let's pretend we're being healthy.
- attempting to go to free concerts. they were always too overrun with hipsters to actually make it in, but the events that ensued post-attempt was always worth the disappointment.
- visits from cloud. cheesy poofs, photo booths, phat farm, and leprechauns.
- alligator lounge. if i hadn't moved away from that place i would be a full-fledged member of pizza addicts anonymous.
- outdoor drinking, especially during the day. no one judges when everyone gets around via cab.
- the beer garden. see above.
- the walk from 42nd to union square. highlight had to be walking 30 blocks next to david from newsies.
- the chicken place. only dining establishment in midtown i'll miss.
- sunny days in prospect park.
- eve's in astoria. those women are vastly underpaid for their skills.
- failed rec teams. namely kickball.
- the evolution of pearl and the beard. they started with a handful of family and friends at free shows, now they're about to embark on a legit tour.
- amNY crosswords on the daily commute. my day always felt off if i didn't finish by the time i made it to the bryant park stop.
- dram shop sports viewing. that poor server was always there.
- craigslist roommates. out of two there's always one nutjob and one keeper.
i hope if/when i leave the south, i'll have as worthy of a list. it will probably reference just as much food.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
naked time
"i went out onto the back porch yesterday and i saw a chipmunk so i said outloud, "ew what are you?" then i noticed the next door neighbor sneak back inside. i think they may have been naked."
- text from my sister
i miss her.
- text from my sister
i miss her.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
this only happens to me
or so i've been told by multiple people. especially this week.
i scheduled an appointment a few weeks back to get a consult for wisdom teeth removal. i've needed to get them out since i was 14 but have just continually pushed it back. i ran out of excuses the last time i got my teeth cleaned. i figured it was just time to grow up and get it done. how often to do you hear of 50 year olds getting their wisdom teeth out? drooling and vicodin is cool when you're younger - not so much when your kids see you flopped on the couch in a prescription drug-fuelled catatonic state.
my appointment was at 5pm on wednesday. i bailed out of work a bit early (quitting time for me is usually in the 7-8pm range) and walked the 3 blocks to the appointment. this is one of the great conveniences of working in midtown. typically there is a handful of non-sketchy establishments for health-related needs. unfortunately there is also typically a larger array of sketch-tastic places that I wouldn't will anyone to even bum a glass of water from the establishment much less entrust them to extract a tooth. the place i go to isn't uber pretentious but it did get some pretty stellar reviews from some coworkers so i gave it a shot.
i walk in to the appointment, where a hygienist promptly take me in for xrays. afterwards, she takes me into an examination room - a one swanky enough for there to be a TV and phony dental portraits that were taken in the last five years. the doctor comes in 5 minutes later with my x-rays.
"ok, the left ones look pretty easy to take out. we're just gonna do those today and then you can come back in a few weeks for the right side."
"so you're just gonna take them out today?"
"is that a problem?"
"i guess not"
so the doc shot me full of novocain and yanked them out. when i say yank, i mean pliers and all. it was like every dental horror movie rolled into one. it didn't hurt - i was completely numb - but it was weird feeling some virtual stranger pull and prod and eventually force out two teeth that had been with me since adolescence.
i left the building with a mouth full of gauze, a numb face, and a prescription for antibiotics and tylenol with codeine. the pain wasn't too bad - even when the anesthesia wore off and i stopped drooling uncontrollably. i put some ice on my jaw when i went home, and bit on some teabags and slept right through the night. the next morning, i went to work as though there weren't two gaping holes in my jaw (i guess that's not entirely accurate since they're mostly sewed shut). i felt fine, not terrible enough to merit missing work. from all of the horror stories i've heard from people, it was sort of absurd to be there. half my friends speak of their wisdom teeth removal as if they had a lung removed. it entails blood, gore, days of painkillers, and the dreaded DRY SOCKETS. granted, i still i'm not out of the woods completely 4 days later, but i felt sort of foolish being at work right after something like that and didn't tell anyone about the ordeal until mid-way through the afternoon.
once i told the story, it traveled through my entire team. the first response, "this would only happen to you." since i've recounted the tale, i've gotten that from additional friends and MY MOM. thanks, i guess.
i scheduled an appointment a few weeks back to get a consult for wisdom teeth removal. i've needed to get them out since i was 14 but have just continually pushed it back. i ran out of excuses the last time i got my teeth cleaned. i figured it was just time to grow up and get it done. how often to do you hear of 50 year olds getting their wisdom teeth out? drooling and vicodin is cool when you're younger - not so much when your kids see you flopped on the couch in a prescription drug-fuelled catatonic state.
my appointment was at 5pm on wednesday. i bailed out of work a bit early (quitting time for me is usually in the 7-8pm range) and walked the 3 blocks to the appointment. this is one of the great conveniences of working in midtown. typically there is a handful of non-sketchy establishments for health-related needs. unfortunately there is also typically a larger array of sketch-tastic places that I wouldn't will anyone to even bum a glass of water from the establishment much less entrust them to extract a tooth. the place i go to isn't uber pretentious but it did get some pretty stellar reviews from some coworkers so i gave it a shot.
i walk in to the appointment, where a hygienist promptly take me in for xrays. afterwards, she takes me into an examination room - a one swanky enough for there to be a TV and phony dental portraits that were taken in the last five years. the doctor comes in 5 minutes later with my x-rays.
"ok, the left ones look pretty easy to take out. we're just gonna do those today and then you can come back in a few weeks for the right side."
"so you're just gonna take them out today?"
"is that a problem?"
"i guess not"
so the doc shot me full of novocain and yanked them out. when i say yank, i mean pliers and all. it was like every dental horror movie rolled into one. it didn't hurt - i was completely numb - but it was weird feeling some virtual stranger pull and prod and eventually force out two teeth that had been with me since adolescence.
i left the building with a mouth full of gauze, a numb face, and a prescription for antibiotics and tylenol with codeine. the pain wasn't too bad - even when the anesthesia wore off and i stopped drooling uncontrollably. i put some ice on my jaw when i went home, and bit on some teabags and slept right through the night. the next morning, i went to work as though there weren't two gaping holes in my jaw (i guess that's not entirely accurate since they're mostly sewed shut). i felt fine, not terrible enough to merit missing work. from all of the horror stories i've heard from people, it was sort of absurd to be there. half my friends speak of their wisdom teeth removal as if they had a lung removed. it entails blood, gore, days of painkillers, and the dreaded DRY SOCKETS. granted, i still i'm not out of the woods completely 4 days later, but i felt sort of foolish being at work right after something like that and didn't tell anyone about the ordeal until mid-way through the afternoon.
once i told the story, it traveled through my entire team. the first response, "this would only happen to you." since i've recounted the tale, i've gotten that from additional friends and MY MOM. thanks, i guess.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
it's a small world after all
last night i went to go see jocelyn's band play. they were opening for their buddies' album release party at webster hall. her band went on at 8:30, then the main act was at 10. i was recovering from my widsom teeth removal (a forthcoming post will recount that experience) so the plan was to go to the show then head home early. a surprising number of my friends had showed up to the show - very surprising since usually whenever i put out the invite i get a whole lot of maybes and a whole lot of reinforcement that it's good that i like to do things solo. so here we were waiting in between jocelyn's show and the main act, when who do i see standing less than 5 feet away?
my prom date.
turns out andrew lives in brooklyn too. and has for the past two years. we both were in complete shock and actually struggled to formulate coherent sentences for the first few minutes of conversation. it was one of those moments that really makes me appreciate my high school experience. for all those people who felt they had an awkward and cringe-worthy four years, i feel my high school was a great exception. yes, we as people were super awkward, but we were awkward together. i ran into a good 3/4 of my high school at a bar over christmas and realized how happy i was that i can look back and feel grateful that i shared the experience with such an eclectic group of people. andrew and i hadn't seen each other in almost 8 years, but we could talk as if we has stayed in touch since the day he was voted prom king (true story - my date was crowned king). only in new york can you be thousands of miles away from home and run into the guy who 8 years ago sang american pie with you and your closest friends around a campfire while drinking natty lite post prom.
my prom date.
turns out andrew lives in brooklyn too. and has for the past two years. we both were in complete shock and actually struggled to formulate coherent sentences for the first few minutes of conversation. it was one of those moments that really makes me appreciate my high school experience. for all those people who felt they had an awkward and cringe-worthy four years, i feel my high school was a great exception. yes, we as people were super awkward, but we were awkward together. i ran into a good 3/4 of my high school at a bar over christmas and realized how happy i was that i can look back and feel grateful that i shared the experience with such an eclectic group of people. andrew and i hadn't seen each other in almost 8 years, but we could talk as if we has stayed in touch since the day he was voted prom king (true story - my date was crowned king). only in new york can you be thousands of miles away from home and run into the guy who 8 years ago sang american pie with you and your closest friends around a campfire while drinking natty lite post prom.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
GTL...part 2
the world was swept away by the jersey shore. or at least everyone in my world was fascinated by MTV's lowlifes. their lack of manners, stupidity, and well stupidity made for great TV. i watch my share of good shows and really have no guilt about spending an hour a week watching 6 idiots try to find mates on a dirty boardwalk.
season 1 ended somewhat predictably. jwoww ended up with her boyfriend who sent her the "rarest roses eva" (blue ones), snooki's 15 minutes of fame includes her pushing tanning products and being the word's largest proponent of the "bumpit", and the man who swore his #1 rule was to not fall in love at the jersey shore left in a serious relationship with a girl who broke up with him because he said she had a "fred flinstone toe". this is TV at its finest.
for all the talk about "jersey shore", MTV seems to be the only one who realizes their "talent" will be lucky to survive a second season. like all reality shows, once the first season (or less) is done, you just get a bunch of people who are playing towards the camera. "classic" moments like jwoww's proclamation of eating ham instead of cheating with her boyfriend are going to be completely contrived. girls will hook up with mike "the situation" because he's "the situation". not because he's s dude who looks 45 but has a nice 6 pack that he shows off at the bar. pauly d's DJing is probably sub par, but he's already blowing up the tabloids with his favorite "love" mixes for valentine's day. and snooki will finally find a guy to hook up with, one who likes her "for who she is"...
by the time season 2 airs, we'll all have found a new bunch of trainwrecks to follow. i'm not saying i won't watch, but it would be nice to watch the second season of something where you know a producer isn't involved in the mix.
season 1 ended somewhat predictably. jwoww ended up with her boyfriend who sent her the "rarest roses eva" (blue ones), snooki's 15 minutes of fame includes her pushing tanning products and being the word's largest proponent of the "bumpit", and the man who swore his #1 rule was to not fall in love at the jersey shore left in a serious relationship with a girl who broke up with him because he said she had a "fred flinstone toe". this is TV at its finest.
for all the talk about "jersey shore", MTV seems to be the only one who realizes their "talent" will be lucky to survive a second season. like all reality shows, once the first season (or less) is done, you just get a bunch of people who are playing towards the camera. "classic" moments like jwoww's proclamation of eating ham instead of cheating with her boyfriend are going to be completely contrived. girls will hook up with mike "the situation" because he's "the situation". not because he's s dude who looks 45 but has a nice 6 pack that he shows off at the bar. pauly d's DJing is probably sub par, but he's already blowing up the tabloids with his favorite "love" mixes for valentine's day. and snooki will finally find a guy to hook up with, one who likes her "for who she is"...
by the time season 2 airs, we'll all have found a new bunch of trainwrecks to follow. i'm not saying i won't watch, but it would be nice to watch the second season of something where you know a producer isn't involved in the mix.
Monday, February 1, 2010
where were you the night of the 1st?
i have been trying to pinpoint why i have had writer's block lately. i fear it's because i've become boring. i get up, when i'm lucky i hit the gym, and spend 9-11 hours at the office. go home, attempt to make a meal, watch some tv, read, then go to bed. i can figure out what day it is by what's on TV or which client status meeting i had in the afternoon. weeks and months blend together. goal for 2010: try to remember on friday what i did on monday. the more i watch these crime dramas, i realize i would make a terrible witness. they say everyone actor in NYC has been in an episode of "law and order". i best practice in case life ever imitates art.
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