midwest thang

at the moment i'm writing this, i have been in the midwest for 8 days. my trip started with my sister's graduation, hit a mid-point with a quick jaunt in minneapolis, and i'll end my journey with an evening of camping with my friends near milwaukee. in between these major events, i'll have dropped my grandmother off at her home in wausau (wi) and visited my other grandma in milwaukee.

since i moved to new york, i have yet to spend this much time back home. ordinarily it's a hyperactive vacation - for every day that i'm home, there's events planned from the time i wake until i sleep. there's always people that i don't have time to hang out with, and promised dinners or coffees that never occur thanks to me double booking on the fly.

not on this trip. with the exception of a lunch that i had to cut out because of my sister needing the car (sorry, cloud) i've done everything i've wanted to do here and more. and it's really made me appreciate where i came from. i joke that the best part of growing up in the midwest is that i didn't end up with a jersey accent and that i like to go camping. while that's true, there's more to the story. there's a kinship i feel with the folks here that i'll never have in new york. yes, i love my life in new york and i'll stay there indefinitely, but despite what borough i live in or how dark i dye my roots, i will always be that girl with green hair who spent her summers at seminole pool. i will think of memorial day and labor day weekend as synonyms for brat fest; the fourth for summerfest. christmas always has snow, and saturdays in the fall are supposed to smell like badger football. summer sunsets are meant to be seen from a green or yellow chair at the union, and you're weak if you can't handle a scrambler from mickey's with a chocolate malt.

there's an unspoken understanding here of how happy everyone is that they live here - especially in the summer. you can even feel it when you talk to people who just came here for college. i chose to leave for college to see what else was out there and i know that if i lived here permanently i would not have the appreciation that hits me everytime i come home, but i have it now. and it gives me gratitude for not only my hometown, but that i live in a place now that is so very different - but great in it's own right.

i'll never forget in high school when my friend maria and i were walking around in beloit (we were there for a swim meet). we had just stopped at burger king to grab some dinner and were on our way back to the pool. "i'm going to go home tonight and thank my parents for raising me in madison," she said after looking at our surroundings. i worry that if i stay in new york when i have a family that my kids won't have that. they'll use swear words in public that i can't say at 23 without turning scarlet. they'll know how to avoid eye-contact with panhandlers on the subways. granted a family is a long-way off for me, and i'm not leaving nyc anytime soon, but i hope that my kids can grow up like i did. yeah, the winters are awful and i ended up with an accent that elongates anything with an "a" or two "e's", but i was given a disposition that made me love where i'm from, while at the same time want something more. the part of me that wants something more keeps me thousands of miles away from madison and my family, but i really do love coming back.